Friday, November 5, 2010

Pitty poor me...all alone....except for this GODDAMN paint covered chair.

Oh hello.

That's the only nice thing I have to say.

My karma meter must be on FUCK YOU because holy shit, have I had a bad mofo evening.....

Not tons to say (though, I have gestures for days) (also swear words, so I'm sorry for that....although swearing on blogs is okay right? I can't remember....let me consult with the bottle of wine. YES YES SWEARING IS A DAMN FINE IDEA.)

My lovely folks are coming up for the weekend to work on the Money Pit (our house) (I actually typed whore two times before I typed house.) (This is way too accurate for me to expand upon at this time.) (Bitch.)

Wine=swear words. I'll be back to my g0sh-darn self by tomorrow afternoon. HI MOM!!!

As I was bringing in my Home Depot purchases, I noticed that I still had a quart of black paint in the garage that I used to refurbish a kick-ass rolltop desk (pictures to come). I thought, "Gee, better bring that paint in. Here, let's put it in our shopping bag from Home Depot." Here's where the good-ideas ran cold and that badness came full force and slapped me in the face with a big damn, "WHooo-AH!"

Black. Paint. In. A. Shopping Bag.
(not so bad yet, right?)
Opened up. In. Said Shopping Bag.
On ALL purchases.
Overflowed onto the dining room table, onto a dining room chair....hung out for long enough to have relations with the chair and then decided to say hello to a huge amount of hardwood floor.

I don't have much to say except I immediately opened a bottle of wine and got in the shower with the chair.

(I hope he calls me tomorrow.)

P.S. Geeeee, dontch just miss the hell out of these posts? Christ on a cracker (hullo Meg)..."When's gonna be my time Lord???? When's gonna be my time?") -Someone in some Kevin Smith movie...

P.P.S. Dear Kevin Smith. I like wine. Also, I like your first 4 movies. Seeing Jason Mewes naked was a bit of a boon for the last flick you turned out. For that piece of crap, I'd like to tell you to suck it, but my husband actually talks to your wife online and there's a chance I could maybe be a personal chef for you someday (and I'll totally delete the hell out of this post at that time)...so, keep on truckin', Kev!