Monday, October 4, 2010

Do you ever get the feeling that your ass is actually creeping up your back?

This is an untold phenomenon-- sure, we all know about age equalling droopy buns, but sometimes, if you're special, when you sit down, the sheer expanse of your butt actually shoves itself up your lower back. This results in some spectacular dimpling and bulges. This description is simply BEGGING for some Paint Prowess.....voila!So much to say, here. And really, I know you're most interested in where I bought those fancy shoes. Maxxanista, bitches. But really, WTF is it with the butt thing? I work out like a crazy person on the eliptical. I'm thinking that about 1/2 of my butt is turning into muscle and the other half is turning into mac n' cheese and venturing north. AND IT DOESN'T DO THIS IN CLOTHING---apparently my stretchy jeans keep it in check; it's when it's free to roam that it does this wonk-butt thing. I cannot tell you how tempted I am to take a REAL LIFE photo of this ass-action so I can share it with you and hear you go, "Me, too!!!" Alas, two things:

-I'm probably on this butt island by myself-
-And ew.-
Now, that won't stop me from asking you all to share a lovely body phenomenon with the internet. Bring it on. Can you top North-Venturing Mac 'n Cheese??

2 comments:

Meg said...

Pilonidal cyst, baby.
And I'm not a hairy man, so where the hell did it come from?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilonidal_cyst

Hyphen Mama said...

Oh, a photo would be super DUPER fun, dontcha think?

Yes, I have experienced this phenomenon and I've been fortunate enough to experience the back rolls puddling under my bra and at the top of my jeans, too. Oh yes, you wish you were as lucky as I.