And In the Light of Day....What the hell is a dairy flavorist?

Thank God for Advil....

What the hell was I thinking last night? What kind of a hideously botched triumphant return was that?? The best ideas are born of beer. I think that's from the Bible. Or maybe it's US Weekly.

Anywho, my friends.

What's new? Has the past year and a half treated you well? Have you succumbed to the technological crack that is Netflix? (yup) Have you secretly purchased your Team Jacob t-shirt? (oh please) Have you wanted to murder that jack-ass that painted the outside of your house? (too soon..gah.)

I truly hope this post finds you well. And not 15 pounds heavier with a questionable haircut. *waves*

I've really missed writing. Being a verbal smartass just isn't as much fun. Also, there's no delete button in a conversation---and, Christ on a Cracker, wouldn't that come in fantstically handy at times?

As I'm still warming up, getting back into blogging shape, I have decided to take it easy (lazy) and begin with a list....

What I've Learned in the Past 17-ish Months

by

The Over-Thinker

1. Simple Math: The gag-reflex of a cat is faster than your ability to jump off the couch and catch the cuke (cat-puke) in your hands. (I didn't say this was a list of wise, helpful ideas)
2. Paris Hilton is untouchable (also, probably a good rule of thumb, in general)
3. The moment I polish my toes, my husband will step on one of them with one of his size 13 gunboats.
4. I hate flying. Not one flight goes by where I don't think I'm going to die and I worry that my parents might discover the naughty drawer before my husband can hide it.
5. I am now a vegetarian. Not because I have a high moral code....but because my intestines hate cows. And pigs. And chickens. More accurately, I am now a cheese-a-tarian. (Hence the new 15 pounds.)
6. Every time a bell rings, 2 Jehovah's Witnesses in short-sleeve dress shirts and JanSport back-packs are on the front stoop while we're hiding below window level trying to finish the first season of Weeds.
7. I have contacts now. I'm also really good at the under appreciated sport of "Blood-Shot-Eyed Speed Blinking."

On that note, I think I shall go outside and enjoy this beautiful fall weather.*

*Or, maybe it's time to crack open a fresh block of cheese and have a seat in the Church of Netflix. Now, I'd answer the doors for that belief-system anyday. Especially if they're bringing along The Real Housewives of New York on Blu-Ray.