Friday, November 28, 2008

Oh my GOD and dammit all to hell...and things.

Image found here.

Just kidding! I was simply in a mood for a bit of drama :-)

Now that it's out of the way, let's have a talk. And by talk, I mean, here, pull up a chair, I'm going blog about really stupid things that are really stupid. I am redundant and fun.

I apologize in advance for all of the bullet-point posts I've been spewing out into the abyss as of late. Content is not my strong-suit. In fact, I'm quite sure my blog is the opposite of content-laden. But it is full of something...

Okay, moving on...

Black Friday
(du du DUHHH)
(see? Drama)


  • I decided to stay home today and not get shot at a Toys 'R Us. Instead, I decided to Christmasify our apartment. C was all, "Have Fun!" I was all, "Where should I start?? Hmm, I think I'll start by eating some Totino's Pizza Rolls."
  • Everything I need to know about Christmas Decorations, I learned from my cats.
  1. If you're only 1 foot tall and named Abe, you should continually walk into the Christmas tree, even though the 11 previous times you've done it you've ended up with a pine needle in your nose/eye. Make sure you let out a pitiful whimper and then proceed to repeat the action again in 2 minutes.
  2. If I say "NO! FIDGY! NO!" what I really mean is, "Hey there little, pretty kitty. Here, eat some of these small ornaments! Swallowing glass is a mellow affair!"
  3. If I drop an ornament hook onto the carpet, regardless of where the kittens are in the 1300 square foot apartment, they will "HEAR" the fall and race into the living room to "GET IT!!!"
  • I'm still in my pajamas. Our apartment is Christmasified. I would like some brandy. And maybe some chestnuts roasting on an open fire. I'll settle for some tequila and lighting our electric bill on fire with a candle. 'Tis the season to be arrested for accidental arson, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. (Yes, I had to sing it out loud to get the correct number of la's. You can check.)


jess said...

i checked and i think you are right on the fa la la's but i sang it like the asians do in "a christmas story." i hope that's ok.

can you come decorate my house, too?

Sparkliesunshine said...

You're so ahead of it! Kasey and I are going to be attempting the decorating this weekend. Glad the cats were a help! Haha.

Ree said...

hahhahahahahahahaha. Oh mah holy freakin' hell. (See, you actually made me CHANGE my tagline to add the extra exclamation!)

Skip the text and go to the bottom of this post:

Yes, my cats help me decorate, too.

TMC said...

Haha!! I'm pretty sure pizza rolls are not the optimal answer to the suggestion to Have Fun. Funyuns or condensed soup, or perhaps an egg white omelette with gruyere but pizza rolls? Not so much.

Also, I see what you were trying to do there... cleverly trying to get me to sing some Xmas carol when it's still only November. And I don't even do Xmas! Nice try, Miss. Nice try.

Hyphen Mama said...

I tried to Christmasify my house, but the whiny, snively little people were all "I wanna help" followed by doing things that were very unhelpful. SO--I got one set of lights in one front window. VERY FREAKIN' FESTIVE, I tell ya. Those suckers are blaring tonight...making my house look even more at-home in the ghetto. Hey, at least I TAKE my lights down each year. Can't be said for all the neighbors.

No pictures?

monstergirlee said...

What about the poor wal-mart employee who got trampled to death? That would suck.
I did no shopping or participating in any way of consumering today.
Did take the kids with g-ma and g-pa to Hollidazzle on the Nicollet Mall tonight - it was pretty cool.

Natalie said...

i planned to avoid black friday shopping as well even though we needed quite a few things. in the afternoon i decided to go buy the cell phones we needed so i could return my mom's to her. they kept giving me free stuff. buy one phone get one free. with each phone i purchased i received a free bluetooth, car charger, and case. i was buying two phones so erica and will got free phones. needless to say they were EXCITED! i walked out of the store with all the stuff and only later figured out that it was because it was black friday that so much was free. it never occurred to me that the att wireless store would have black friday deals! we totally scored.

Mike Valentino said...

Cats love Christmas trees.

friyet said...

Christmasify ~ my new favorite word, but because of tradition when i was a wee child and my cat's de-christmasifying i won't be doing that until a couple of days before Christmas. fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra [ok or not, i did it too!]

Hillary said...

I'm impressed - I'm skipping the decorating and going straight to the tequila