As promised, here are the photos.
As promised:
NERD ALERT!!!!!
Notice the left-behind skate--who needs 2?
When you have a fashion sense that sweet, who needs 2 skates to complete the look??
Let's talk about the underwear for a moment. Actually, before we discuss the underwear, quick re-cap on my childhood fashion sense:
Everything matches, regardless of color.
Pink and orange are awesome, as is red and purple.
All shirts must be tucked into my underwear.
A center-part in the hair with those 2-ball hair bands holding the hair is a must. Also, if one of the pigtails is actually higher than the other and the hair is pulled so tight that I can't blink--this is a major plus.
So, it looks like I've covered 1 and 3. But, what's a girl to do when she can't securely tuck a ruched, ruffled crop-top into her drawers?? Why, she simply pulls her underwear halfway up her torso, hoping to meet the crop-top halfway. Trifecta accomplished.
Those damn skates. Mom and Dad? If you're reading this? You should know that those skates were hazardous. Particularly to a young girl who could barely walk five steps without falling into a shrub.
Let's do my favorite check-list roll call:
Four neon yellow wheels per skate? CHECK
Each skate weighs at least 17 pounds? CHECK
Two pieces of blue painted metal? CHECK
Two pieces of metal held together by a washer, a screw and a wish? CHECK
More metal covered by neon yellow rubber (safety first) for toe-gripping purposes? CHECK
Hard plastic (plus probably more metal) buckle strap to gently pierce into the skin around the ankle? Hell yes--CHECK.
I can remember strapping those puppies on and almost being able to move. The sheer exhilaration of almost moving and almost lifting my feet off the ground and almost looking cool was good enough for me. Hell, I was into rock polishing--I knew how to have a good time.
The following was my signature move of driveway rollerskating:
A typical photo of me. After a fall, but pre-scabs, if you will. Laughing.
(But crying on the inside.)
After looking through some childhood photos, I've found some seriously awesome proof of my affinity for hideous fashion and dressing like a five-year-old hooker. More to come.
Oh yes...much more.
NERD ALERT!!!!!
Notice the left-behind skate--who needs 2?When you have a fashion sense that sweet, who needs 2 skates to complete the look??
Let's talk about the underwear for a moment. Actually, before we discuss the underwear, quick re-cap on my childhood fashion sense:
Everything matches, regardless of color.
Pink and orange are awesome, as is red and purple.
All shirts must be tucked into my underwear.
A center-part in the hair with those 2-ball hair bands holding the hair is a must. Also, if one of the pigtails is actually higher than the other and the hair is pulled so tight that I can't blink--this is a major plus.
So, it looks like I've covered 1 and 3. But, what's a girl to do when she can't securely tuck a ruched, ruffled crop-top into her drawers?? Why, she simply pulls her underwear halfway up her torso, hoping to meet the crop-top halfway. Trifecta accomplished.
Those damn skates. Mom and Dad? If you're reading this? You should know that those skates were hazardous. Particularly to a young girl who could barely walk five steps without falling into a shrub.
Let's do my favorite check-list roll call:
Four neon yellow wheels per skate? CHECK
Each skate weighs at least 17 pounds? CHECK
Two pieces of blue painted metal? CHECK
Two pieces of metal held together by a washer, a screw and a wish? CHECK
More metal covered by neon yellow rubber (safety first) for toe-gripping purposes? CHECK
Hard plastic (plus probably more metal) buckle strap to gently pierce into the skin around the ankle? Hell yes--CHECK.
I can remember strapping those puppies on and almost being able to move. The sheer exhilaration of almost moving and almost lifting my feet off the ground and almost looking cool was good enough for me. Hell, I was into rock polishing--I knew how to have a good time.
The following was my signature move of driveway rollerskating:
A typical photo of me. After a fall, but pre-scabs, if you will. Laughing.(But crying on the inside.)
After looking through some childhood photos, I've found some seriously awesome proof of my affinity for hideous fashion and dressing like a five-year-old hooker. More to come.
Oh yes...much more.
11 Charitable Assessment(s):
Hey, I had that shirt too! And those bubble ponytail holder things sucked. then. Now I see them as an instant facelift.
PS
The word verification thingee for this comment is woran. Sounds like it should mean something.
Out.stand.ing.
I have a similar pic of me, except with goggles, and a cape.
i have worse pics. i just wish i could find them for proof.
so many thoughts, so little room to comment
first: you were such a cute kid
second: I'm pretty sure I had that same top. except that I had a pretty impressive beer gut to go along with it. except that I couldn't use beer as my excuse for having a beer gut, seeing as I was 5 years old.
third: my word verification is balptish. I really enjoyed the last photo - the one where you have fallen on your balptish.
i think you look cute! the shirt is a little much though i must admit. that could just be because i have been living in a muslim country for the past 6 1/2 years though!
when i saw the last picture of you on your balptish i came unglon. (my word verification...sounds like a combo of unglued and undone. nice!)
and now i thank you for sharing your strory with us...struggle and story? loving these word verifications!
OH, you have inspired me to embariss myself. My brother and I use to dress up in superman outfits and wear our underwares on the outside...it was fun for all years of childhood.
Seriously, I could have gone to school in that outfit and been totally cool with it. Mom would not have it though, so no SuperNateUnderwearMan
You look like Roller Girl from Boogie Nights. Wait, are you someone famous?
I could only roller skate with one skate off, too. There's a reason my nickname was "grace". ;-)
And I think your fashion sense is AWESOME. Seriously. Especially those two-ball ponytail holders. Were they color coordinated as well?
from the looks of the second photo it appears that you needed the gynormus underpants to pad your butt!
I'm slowly realizing that other people who thought they were geeks when they were kids were the cool kids I looked up to when I was young. I think that makes me Sub-Geek.
I had similar roller skates, but SO NOT THAT COOL. Mine had none of the color...just aluminum held together with the same wingnut that would come loose if you went more than 12.3 feet at a time.
I'll never believe you were a geek. With fashion that hot... no way!
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