Thursday, November 13, 2008

Hangin' (Tough) with Over-Thinker. That's right, I went to a NKOTB concert. Jealous? No? Suck it then.

BEFORE
(Whoa. Huh, apparently, back in the day, I liked my guys to sport updo's)





AFTER
(niiiiiiice)


Hahahahaha, just kidding. Like I would go to a New Kids on the Block concert. Shhhaaaaaaaaaaa right!

Okay. Sha right. I did. And I loved it. But, in a totally respectable manner. Let me set the stage for how my brush with teen idol greatness came to be. From this point on, I'll be referring to them as NKOTB--not because I'm trying to sound cool (because, let's face it--this is a post about New Kids on the Block....The "coolness ship" has sailed....in fact, it just sank)--but because it's much easier to type.

I'll go ahead and make copious references to NKOTB songs...
Here, I'll take it STEP BY STEP!!

My Journey to The Block--
(hell yes, I DID just call it that)

1. The company I work for typically has a lot of concert tickets for sale--at pretty good discounts (hence, I will be seeing Wicked in a few short weeks). My co-worker, R, saw that NKOTB would be in town. Over lunch, she announced this fact to a bunch of us sitting around. I believe she said (in a totally timid way...apparently she was thinking that people MIGHT possibly give her crap for showing interest in this concert), "I wonder if anyone at XXXXXX* is going to go the that concert." This was met by about 10 huge guffaws of laughter and one, "SHUT UP!! SHUTUPSHUTUP!! They're coming?!! I would totally go!!" Too bad the 10 huge guffaws didn't cover up my 12-year-old enthusiasm. I swear, I yelled like Paul Revere lettin' loose that the British were on their way. Chill. Pill. What. Is. That.

2. So, the 2 of us bought our tickets---gee, go figure, no one else wanted to go. Whatevs...the 80's were calling us on our light-up, clear, plastic phones and we were so totally answering. Like majorly. Yeah, we're 30ish. Yeah, we've still got THE RIGHT STUFF.

3. At this point, I must preface that although R & I are NKOTB fans, neither of us were THOSE fans. I never had THE SHEETS, THE GINORMOUS BUTTONS, etc. I might possibly have had so many NKOTB posters (36/wall) in my room that my parents may have had to repaint the room after I moved out. Really though--I kept it pretty subtle. Dance Contest Series, T-Shirts, 100+ posters, 20,000 mixed tapes. All joking aside---my dance routine (complete with nightgown+generic ballet type slippers+belt around said nightgown) to I'LL BE LOVING YOU (FOREVER) brought the house down. And by "house down" I mean my parent's dying inside as they realized that they had raised a dipshit.

4. The night of the concert, R & I discussed that we would not be dressing like moronic cougars. We were going to play it cool (as one can play while attending a NKOTB concert). When we got to the concert location, we saw ninebagazillion 30 to 40+ -year-olds dressed in their daughters' clothing. Also, there was a lot of fringe and glitter. I was all, "Where's the mechanical bull?" No bull. Just a lot of super-confident women, living vicariously through memories of their teen years, taking it a step too far, and looking like they were on day passes from a Sanitarium/Whorehouse....but anyhoooooo.

5. When the manboys took the stage, all bets were off. R & I let out our fair share of screams, but for the most part, we maintained a certain level of decorum. It was kind of funny--the two rows of seats, in front and back of us, were filled with people from our (very large) company. I think we were all trying to maintain a "ha-ha, thought this might be fun, I'm totally not a freak" look. While inside we were all hoping for a wardrobe malfunction from Donnie. AND IT HAPPENED!!! His belt came undone and there were hopes for more. He is the "bad boy" afterall. Alas, the pants stayed up.

6. Speaking of pantalones....Joey-Joe (our personal favorite) was rockin' the skinny jeans. And by rockin' I mean Jesus Christ, I think he jumped from a 3-story building to get into those things. I suppose the tightness helped him reach the high notes in PLEASE DON'T GO GIRL. There was much swooning by the crowd and we did see a pair of underwear thrown on stage. No joke.

7. Nearly 20 years later (Holy Mother of God--20!!!), they are still SO GOOD. Regardless of the gag-me fact that they are a boyband, they are still REALLY good. Especially when you take into account that they're all in their mid to late 30's and I'm thinking that one of them is 40. They moved around on stage like they were teenagers and their voices hit the notes that only dogs (and cougars) could hear. I would definitely go (without telling anyone) again. My love for them will be HANGIN' TOUGH.

....but only on the inside because hello? No way my co-workers and husband would let me live down seeing them TWICE.

*XXXXXX=The company I work for. Not a really, really dirty movie.

16 comments:

TMC said...

Oh, OT, you're so funny you make my head hurt. And in this instance, I'm also grateful that you've reminded me that back in the original NKOTB day, I was already in high school, stauchly gothic, and too high to even harbour a secret interest in these boys.

Nevertheless, I'm so glad you had a hoot!

*my word was predis! "I am predis to an aversion to boy bands who don't wear eyeliner and pointy black boots with buckles."

Ilina said...

Could you post a video of that little dance routine? You kill me.

Bridge said...

"And by "house down" I mean my parent's dying inside as they realized that they had raised a dipshit." Is probably the best line ever written in the English language. I laughed so freaking loud when I read this. I am sure my parents though the same as I had rocked out to Guns and Roses the same year.

LOL.

sharoneb said...

This is probably the funniest post I've read in ages. Thanks for the laughs! :) I found you thru Hillary, and have loved everything I've read so far.

I was a huge NKOTB fan as a kid, and I'm just as psychotically excited to see them in concert next Friday. Here's to hoping for a wardrobe malfunction from Donnie at my concert!

Sra said...

I was pretty young when these guys first hit the scene, so I missed the big frenzy, but I remember other people thinking they were, like, so totally radical, dude!

Hey don't feel bad, a couple years ago I went with my mom to the American Idol concert, and I actually had a lot of fun. So screw the (jealous) mockers.

monstergirlee said...

Donny is the most super! - Woright! Really!

jess said...

my fave NKOTB is donnie!! woot - lol. i loved NKOTB in middle school and i remember they came in concert but my parents wouldn't let me go. boooo. i am not sure i'd go to them today...but i might of srsly considered it if i coulda gone with you.

witchypoo said...

Those updos in the first photo? It's called the Guido in New York. Except it's more jelled now. Think Victoria Gotti's boys. Nice look.

annikab said...

My best friend got to go to the concert that came but I had to stay home. I loved Jordan then but now I am more of a Donny fan.

Memarie Lane said...

poor danny. just look at him, still fugly after all this time. but i guess it's better to be the ugly one in an internationally famous band than the pretty one pushing carts at walmart.

Hillary said...

so by "we did see a pair of underwear thrown on stage" you mean "I did throw my underwear on stage" - right?

Ree said...

Ummmmmmmmmm. I thought they kicked them out when they got to 20? Or was that Menudo?

Nate Ring said...

Oh my good lord, thats funny. I seriously laughed outloud a number of times. Honistly, I'm a closet Michael Jackson fan....what a homo I know....

Hyphen Mama said...

holy mother of god you are so freaking funny!

and to top off this hilarious post, my word is "phenes"... the possibilities are endless.

Hyphen Mama said...

damn you... now I had to go over to youtube and watch freaking NKOTB videos.

Angella said...

Oh, I was a HUGE NKOTB fan back in the day...