Monday, September 8, 2008

We can put a man on the moon...but Hollywood can't make a decent looking fake tattoo!!

A brief rant. A rantlette, if you will:

Why the hell can't Hollywood, with its millions of dollars worth of special-effects make-up wizardry, produce a realistic, fake tattoo??? Do they not have more than a few Sharpies in their arsenal of "magic?"

I just watched an episode of Cold Case and this lady had a neck tattoo that was SO TERRIBLE, you could literally see where it was coming unglued. Unglued, people! Honest to God, I think I need to quit my job, move to Hollywood and do their damn tattoos.


I mean, please, I'd kick ass!
Just think what I could do with TWO colors!

You know what makes a really good balance--ya know, for steadying you hand in a fake-tattoo photo? Your cat's head. Thanks, Fidgy.

Have you noticed these crappy tattoos? No? Just me? 'Kay....nevermind.

17 comments:

jess said...

i thought you drew that to remind yourself to pick up a quart of milk on the way home...

i suck at guessing, apparently.

The Over-Thinker said...

Jess: Are you saying you want me to do your tramp stamp? I think I'll do something with soccer balls.

Meg said...

Tramp Stamp! Is that the tattoo of your name that's on your lower back, right up above the straps of your thong???
Ahem, I mean what?

PS you have some serious bling on your hand there!

Hillary said...

A few things:

Holy shiny, batman! C did good in the ring department. Way to go, C!

Please define "tramp stamp" - I may or may not be offended.

I love Cold Case. When we were in Mexico, Shawn and I watched a lot of tv (don't judge - we were too hungover for the beach until after noon.) There was this one channel that showed Cold Case a lot and the announcer would be all "Cold Case!" in a Mexican accent. Wow this is a long comment. Anyway, this announcer cracked Shawn up, every single time. He still says "Cold Case!" in a Mexican accent whenever he sees me watching it.

So uh, clearly I had a bit too much to drink at dinner. Time for sleep,

Hillary said...

ha ha, you said balls

Natalie said...

you can totally do my next tattoo. well maybe. i might be getting one in france this week. i got one last year...and i think i might just add to that one. but it's on my ankle so it's ok. nothing trashy. although my mom might disagree!

The Over-Thinker said...

Meg & Hills: In the states, a lot of people refer to a tattoo that's on the upper-butt (I don't think the design matters) that shows when you bend over as a "tramp stamp." Check out Wikipedia's definition--it's pretty funny. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tramp_stamp

I think it's hilarious that they call them "Arse Antlers" in Australia!

P.S. I don't necessarily think someone who has a tat down there is a tramp. Unless they are also a prostitute. Because then I think they're a tramp.

P.P.S. Thanks for the ring compliments! (And it's all paid off! Woo-woo!....now, to pay off our student loans....)

P.P.P.S COLD CASE! and BALLS!

The Over-Thinker said...

Natalie: I'll give you the best damn sharpie-smiley face ever. Or, if you want it to be a bit more edgy, I can do one with the tongue sticking out. Bad. Ass.

Nilsa S. said...

The only place I've noticed tattoos are on shows like Miami Ink ... and I'm quite certain those are the real deal. Now that you've brought it up, though, I'm going to have to start taking note!

Hillary said...

oooohhhhh ... I thought you meant that ALL tattoos were tramp stamps. I shouldn't try to think when alcohol is involved. Live and learn.

Sra said...

I love trying to guess whether actors' tattoos in movies are real or fake. I know that actors' real-life tattoos are often covered up for their films, but what about the times when the character has a tattoo? Real or not? Like whats-her-face in Stranger than Fiction (the same actress who plays Rachel in the new Batman movies). She's got a pretty rad 3/4 sleeve on one arm in Stranger than Fiction. If that's fake, it's a pretty good job.

The Over-Thinker said...

Nilsa: Please do and report back! I need to know where my skillz are needed!

Hills: HA!

The Over-Thinker said...

Sra: I think you're referring to Maggie Gyllenhaal--I wish I could remember that tattoo! I'm 99% sure that she doesn't have a sleeve in "real life."

Anonymous said...

Hey, I strolled over from looney tunes because your post title caught my eye. I have a good friend that does movie make-up, and she says the good tattoos are all handrawn. (She's for real, has worked in hollywood for 17 years.) They will sometimes use a stencil, although generally they freehand it with a picture handy. She thinks using a stick-on is beyond lame! Oh, and I checked on the Maggie Gyllenhaal tattoo, and it was make-up. Chelle.

The Over-Thinker said...

Chelle: Thanks for stopping over! I'm glad she thinks the stick-ons are lame-o, too. I am in awe of the fact that some artists do them freehand. Serious talent.

I looked up Maggie G.'s movie-tat as well. Now THAT is a really good fake. At least it looks that way in the movie-still I looked at.

Hyphen Mama said...

*snort* you said tramp stamp.

The Over-Thinker said...

Hyphen: I'm thinking about using it in my daily vernacular. For instance, "Well, I'll be a tramp stamp! She gave me too much change!"

"That dress is tramp-stamp-o-riffic! Does it come in vinyl?"