Monday, September 1, 2008

Then Loralee swept me off my feet and we shared something sacred...

...Chocolate Cake.
Well, truth be told, we both had about two bites. Have you heard that some people talk with their hands? Well, Loralee talks with her cake. She tells the best stories in the world and punctuates her sentences with fork-stabs through frosting.

As Sofia Petrillo would say:
Picture it, a metro-suburb, April 2008
(APRIL, for God's sake....sorry, for the tardiness)

Loralee flew out to the Minneapolis area to help her brother (who is quite cute, btw) do some house-stuff to his house, so he could sell it... and stuff. As you all know, I nearly took her took a strip club because that's just the classy, mid-western thing to do. Forget Hot-Dish, Minnesota-niceness--it's actually all about strip clubs (& chocolate cake), folks.

So on a Wednesday (I think?? Dang it. I KNEW I should have taken down the details AS THIS TOOK PLACE IN APRIL!) I drove out to her brother's place. My GPS (I call her Jane) got me to the city and almost got me to the house. This is typical of Jane as she likes to tease me with half-truths and encourages drives off the beaten path. So, I pulled over and called Loralee's cell and asked for help. She answered and kindly told me that I was actually in front of her brother's house. Seriously, it's a wonder the CIA doesn't just scoop me up.

Let me tell you people---she is GORGEOUS. Yes, Hillary, her eyebrows REALLY ARE THAT PERFECT. Immediately, she apologized for her hair (!!ItlookedperfectShutupLoralee!!) because she had forgotten a blow dryer. I made her some of my vanilla bean cupcakes with buttercream because she's way too thin and I needed to sabotage her figure (also see above, as the cake was my idea). We piled into my Lesbian Rubbermaid and sat there for awhile, not sure how to start our first date. There was a lot of hysterical laughter--she is so wonderfully silly and just as nuts-o as I am that I immediately knew we would have a great time.

Even before I started the car, there was a lot of:
"You're hilarious, Loralee!"
"No YOU ARE, Over-Thinker!"
There was also quite a bit of:
"Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know, where do you want to go?"
"You can decide!"
"No, You!"

So, I took her to a strip club where she gave away all of her ones and we had a fantastic time. The end.

In the REAL world, we actually went to Noodles & Company. Which now, come to think of it, would be an EXCELLENT name for a strip club. We talked for a very long time over, you guessed it, noodles and DIET COKE. Because, duh. I asked her about nine-gathousand questions about herself which she graciously answered. She has had a fascinating life, people. I think the conversation at the restaurant ran the gammut from "Growing up Mormon" to "Blogging"---really one in the same. Heh :)

Back in the car, I whipped out Jane (hmm, that kinda sounds like I had marijuana in my car--does that give me "blogstreet-cred?" No? Okay--it was my GPS) and we decided that we would like to go somewhere for coffee and further conversation. As per usual, I programmed Jane to go to one place and she screwed with me and sent me in the wrong direction. Oh well--we ended up at a Barnes & Noble and decided to camp out in their coffee shop. We stayed there for many moons and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and stabbed cake and talked and talked and talked. Did I mention that there was talking? I love learning about people, about what makes them tick and tock....just everything.

What does one do after an evening of Noodles and Cake-Stabbing? Why go hang out in a stranger's basement looking for photos of Loralee kissing a certain fellow blogger, of course!

Hey OT, I have something to show you--it's just down this stairwell. Just a bit further...keep going. It's over there in the corner.

I promise I only felt like screaming "PUT OUT AN AMBER ALERT!!" like only once :-)

So, in the basement, we looked through approximately 500 photos---FRIGGIN' HILARIOUS---and couldn't find the "The Kiss" (P.S. Have you found it yet???? If so, please E-MAIL IT!) After about 2 hours, she un-did my hand-cuffs and let me go. All in all it was really pleasant---I kid, I kid. I enjoyed every minute of our time together!
(and the scars on my wrists are TOTALLY fading, so no biggie!)

Loralee and I shared a lot of hilarity, sadness, happiness and in-the-vault-secrets over our coffees and I really believe I've found a bloggy-friend for better or for worse. She's da bomb (as we people in Minnesota (albeit, circa 1981) often say.

Here we are, being Da Bombs.
(See, Hills? Look at those eyebrows!)


Meg said...

I love that it has taken you FOUR MONTHS to blog about this!
Glad you had fun though!

The Over-Thinker said...

Meg: Let's not mention that again :)

Bridge said...


Who was the fellow blogger she was kissing?

Just wondering... for no reason.

witchypoo said...

Will you look at the two yummy cupcakes?

Loralee Choate said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!


That was the best retelling, like, ever.

And yup. I totally published "The Photo" on my blog (WITH BRIDGE'S PERMISSION!)

heh heh heh

You were so fabulous. Seriously, one of my favorite bloggity meetups ever. (Plus, you.are.fracking.beautiful)

Say hello to Jane for me. Naughty girl. ;)

The Over-Thinker said...

Bridge: Apparently the lesbian is out of the bag :) Hi to your hubby for me! MWAH!

The Over-Thinker said...

Witchy: You are too kind :)

friyet said...

ok, two things:

1. of about all the stupid things i have ever done in my life, one of the biggies is that i wish i had NEVER plucked my eyebrows...

2. i don't own a GPS, but when we [any one who works were i do] rent one we call it "betty". when it screws up i call it "betty your ignorant slut". BUT yours is already named "jane" and it was REALLY "jane you ignorant slut" so feel free to use that!

[if you are of a tender age that you don't remember SNL when it was good, that would be dan ackroid to jane curtin]

ok, three things, one down, 29 to go!

The Over-Thinker said...

I just realized that I've been individually submitting my responses. It's like I'm "padding" my comments--uh..heh..

Loralee: I'm glad you liked it! And right backatcha. And thank you for thinking I'm beautiful--absolutely made my year :)

Jane says hello and wants to know why you never call her? She says you said you would and now she's all "Did Loralee call?" and I'm all "Jane, don't be so needy."

The Over-Thinker said...

FriYet: I loved it when Ackroyd called her an ignorant slut!! Jane better mind her p's and q's or I'm throwing this at her.

Angella said...

Loralee IS awesome. I was giddy to get to know her in SF.

LOVE the photo of you two.

The Over-Thinker said...

Angella: I've decided that I have to make a pilgrimage out west for a visit on her turf. She just doesn't know it yet :)

Sra said...

Noodles and Co. and its sister establishment Tacos R Us. Sounds like a wiener!

So, I'm abstaining from excessive sugar for the next month in preparation of a huge hike, and that chocolate cake is the salt in my wound. Thanks for that. ;)

Loralee Choate said...


We can make a chocolate cake big enough to take on BOTH of us!

matches said...

great read. thanks for sharing. I feel better now, like I just took a shower with lemons. Refreshed, but ocassionally have to keep my eyes shut tight or it will sting my brain.

Memarie Lane said...

OMG you did NOT just show that picture to a pregnant woman!

Hillary said...

Oh my word - you two ladies are gorgeous. I have major eyebrow-envy.

The Over-Thinker said...

Sra: Sorry about that. But hey, the cake is somewhat portable so you can carry it with you on your hike!

Loralee: Dude. You're on.

Matches: I am to sting your brain with my words. Like in a super-hero sort of way.

Memarie: LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY! Nothing to see here!

Hills: Thanks for the nice words :) I'm just kicking myself for not getting a macro shot of her brows. They were KILLER. Seriously.

Sparkliesunshine said...

I am so damn jealous. It sounds like you two had a lovely time and please promise me if we ever meet up that you will make me fabulous vanilla bean cupcakes.

The Over-Thinker said...

Sparklie: OF COURSE!