Monday, September 29, 2008

My 6 Addictions (dammit, Hillary)

I've been tagged out of spite.
Spiteful Hillary has tagged me with a meme of 6 Addictions. Wanker.
And to think I gave her a beautiful shawl via Photoshop. Wanker.
Wanker, wanker, wanker. I love that word.


I was going for an "addiction pose"--instead, I've captured "playing a wine bottle as if it were a trumpet."

6 Addictions
(in no particular order)


Helping the Homeless
Reading the Bible
Collecting for Charity
Mentoring Young Adults
Heroin
Working at the Animal Shelter

...just kidding, Mom.
I no longer collect for Charity.


6 Addictions (for reals):

TV Crime/Mystery Shows
I can easily blow an entire day watching 12 recorded episodes (taking occasional breaks to pee and get sunflower seeds and Diet Ginger Ale from the kitchen) of CSI, The Closer, Cold Case, Law & Order, Heroin is Fun, Monk, Psych, etc....

Sunflower Seeds & Diet Ginger Ale
I must have these by my side in order to fully enjoy a TV Crime/Mystery Show. If not, I get all antsy and fidgety. This is when heroin is helpful.

Books
Not a day goes by when I don't read at least a 1/4 of an entire book. MUST read. I usually get through half of a novel while waiting for my weekly interventions by the intake counselor. I'm a terribly well-rounded individual--I owe my delusional capacity to my aversion of non-fiction.

Elastic
As in waistbands. Not sure how to weave heroin into this one, so I'll let it go.

Sarcasm
Obviously. I rarely function without a loaded gun of smart ass. I've tried to reel-it-in, to no avail (most of the time). I like to make people laugh--this definitely includes myself. Actually, for the most part, I'm the only one laughing. I mean, you should hear me over here on the other side of the monitor---I'm laughing my ass off!! I kill me!! Heroin is bad!! See? Sarcasm.

Making Lists
FOR EVERYTHING. It's my anorexia--it's how I stay in control. No list? I lose my mind. Then my keys. Then I die a little inside. Then I make a list about what I'll need to re-arrange within my soul to make room for the dying. Then I get out my highlighter. Because no list is complete without a colored line striking through the date.

P.S. I don't actually DO heroin.
P.P.S. I'd better remove it from my to-do list.

19 comments:

Sra said...

I guess I make lists, except you might not be able to call it that, because there's no structure to it. I just write stuff down without organizing it, and then sometimes I find the note later and wonder what the hell it's for.

I do enjoy a good highlighter, though.

The Over-Thinker said...

Sra: For me, the actual list-making/checking-off is what brings me the most joy. I like blue-highlighters the best--sometimes with an under-score of yellow. I am sad. Shoot me.

witchypoo said...

Is that really a wine bottle? And not a delivery system for heroin?

witchypee said...

Also? If you go with Haloscan for your comments, CommentLuv will work with it.
CommentLuv, the new heroin.

The Over-Thinker said...

WitchyPooPee (*Snort*): Good idea on the bottle-delivery system. I'll make sure to credit you with the idea when I go global.

Haloscan, you say? Hmm....I must try mainlining CommentLuv...

Meg said...

I love fun-coloured pens.
But I write mainly everything in pencil.
Including my to-do lists!

Hyphen Mama said...

Mmmmmmm....lists. I make no less than 10 lists in any given day. Some lists are categorized by topic. I LOVE checking items off my list; accomplishment.

1/4 book PER DAY? Your brain must be HUGE. I love books, I usually read them with a highlighter (pink is my fave).

And, I think you're VERY FUNNY. I think you drip with funny. In a good way.

Bridge said...

I need to get addicted to lists... my day would go so much better if I could scratch off things I have done.

Pee /scratch
Shower /scratch
Drink Coffee /scratch

I should start tomorrow!

jess said...

it's heroinE you ass! ha ha HA!

sarcasm i cannot live without. i've been told it's a turnoff. as if i give a shit.

witchypee? is that poo's evil twin??

The Over-Thinker said...

Meg: Ooo, I like a nice, sharp pencil, too.

Hyphen: My brain is absolutely enormous. It's filled with inconsequential information. Super helpful for Jeopardy, but not for sounding intelligent when talking about US History. Thanks for the nice compliments :)

Bridge: At first I was like, "What is she scratching? She needs to write 'pick up anti-itch cream' on the list--especially if she's scratching AFTER the shower." But then I caught on...

Jess: Nuh-UH!! Heroine with an "e" isn't the drug--according to Dictionary.com:

1. a woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for her brave deeds and noble qualities.

2. the principal female character in a story, play, film, etc.

Minus the "e" = the drug. BOO-YAH!! I just schooled the the spelling police!!!

Nilsa S. said...

You weren't kidding when you said you loved my calendar. Damn, now I know how to flirt with you in the future. :-)

Hillary said...

Dude. Obviously you love doing the memes. You only had to give us FIVE addictions but you gave us six. You are an overachiever who loves the memes. Don't lie.

PS - the tv shows? and books and lists and sarcasm? makes me think we are twins.

jess said...

hello? the heroinE was sarcasm. i know i funged it up that one time. LOL! i was typing it out on my phone and just effed up. SARCASM! it's what's for breakfast! POW!

Marissa said...

Ha ha! I am the same way with lists. I'm completely addicted and cannot function without them!

Nicole said...

Maybe you should go work for Santa. I hear he likes lists too.

There's a few things you need to add to the list- cosmetics (you always have the latest/greatest potions, lotions, and good smelling stuff), all things British, and Us Weekly/People Mag (which I pretend not to read, but "casually" pick up if I'm at your place.)

The Over-Thinker said...

Nilsa: FYI, if you start talking about random school supplies, in addition to the lists? I'm yours.

Hillary: Was there ever any doubt?

Jess: Oh shite---I should've known!!! How could I think for a moment that I could be "schooling" the spelling police chief!

Marissa: I think I need a shirt that says I Heart Lists. Too much?

Nicole: Oooo, good idea. I'll send my resume to Santa. In list format, of course. Oh duh! I totally forgot about the cosmetic/lotion fetish I have. And the British-y stuff sort of consumes me. Ya know what's weird? Ever since you moved away, I haven't been buying US Weekly--maybe I was subconciously buying it for you!! (Must go out and buy one now so I can find out if Nicole Ritchie weighs 100 pounds.)

Ilina said...

What I find most satisfying is crossing things off my list. If I do something that I forgot to put on my list, I'll add it so I have that sense of accomplishment by crossing it off.

You cracked me up as usual.

Sparkliesunshine said...

Sunflower seeds and ginger ale seems like such an interested combination. I am intrigued.

I am a list maker too. It just makes everything feel more accomplished when you are able to cross it off of a list.

Nate Ring said...

I liked your 6 additions. My problem is my biggest addition is that i can't finish an