I've been mulling over an idea for a post where I would ask that all of the comments be submitted anonymously. Normally, I have the anonymous option turned off because I like knowing who to picture in my head when I'm crying from criticism. Heh--just kidding. Heh, mostly.
But I also recognize the freedom that holds hands with the option to remain anonymous. Have you heard of Post Secret? It's an amazing concept. The site and books are addictive. Maybe you've already purchased the books? Or maybe you just read 20 pages at a time when you're at Barnes and Noble's? Hmm? Thought so. That's tacky and totally something I totally wouldn't do. Like almost never.
I was at a bit of a quandary regarding the tone of the question I wanted to pose to you. Should it be something that's a total dive into the deep end? Or should I stay in the wading pool with floaties? Or, maybe I should go for something in the middle like a somersault in the 5-feet-deep water. Maybe I should quit writing in aquatic similes? Nah....that would be boring. Okay, put your goggles on ladies and gents. Hope you remembered to shave!
Remember to submit your comments anonymously; make sure you're not signed in. And if you're worried that I'll be able to figure out who you are by doing something technological, you can trust that I have no idea how to do that and I'd sooner eat a piece of head cheese before learning how to do it. No time for love, Dr. Jones...
For this initial Jane & John Doe post, let's keep it light:
The QUESTION
What is the worst fib/white lie/MAJOR lie you've told? And were you caught?
I'll chime in with my anonymous answer/comment in a bit, too.
I hope some lurkers will delurk and spill their guts on this one. I'm also hoping this will be freeing---like dancing in the moonlight in our underwear. Or sitting in our underwear by the glow of the TV set? Or washing our bras in the sink by the light of an incandescent fixture? This blog is nothing if not full of options.
Please encourage your readers to stop over and spill their guts, too. This could be good.
What is the worst fib/white lie/MAJOR lie you've told? And were you caught?
I'll chime in with my anonymous answer/comment in a bit, too.
I hope some lurkers will delurk and spill their guts on this one. I'm also hoping this will be freeing---like dancing in the moonlight in our underwear. Or sitting in our underwear by the glow of the TV set? Or washing our bras in the sink by the light of an incandescent fixture? This blog is nothing if not full of options.
Please encourage your readers to stop over and spill their guts, too. This could be good.
Posts
33 Charitable Assessment(s):
I told someone I loved them. I was kinda pushed into a corner and then couldn't take it back.
Luckily, it worked out between us for awhile (mostly because the sex was good).
Also, let me tell you what a pleasure it is to be the first poster here.
I believe we (meaning me and my boyfriend) told people that we were going to church... and then we (gasp!) had a little nookie instead. Sinful, I tell you!!
LOVE LOVE the post idea!!
I told someone I was pregnant when I wasn't. I was young, desperate and totally insane. Yes, I got caught and YES the fallout was huge, awful and felt to this day.
I lied about my fidelity. I was never caught, but I will always know the truth. It is horrible and I struggle with forgiving myself. I may never be able to.
You should have people write their answers down and mail them to you so they are truly anonymous.
I enjoy reading the actual handwriting of others. I love PostSecret and I read it every week. This is a great idea. Thanks for listening.
I told the boy who took my virginity that I wasn't a virgin. And that was true if you count the fact that the first person I had sex with was a girl. (I'm a girl too.)
I told someone close to me that I was quite ill when in reality I knew I would be fine with treatment. I did it for sympathy and for attention. I still feel so ashamed when I see this person.
i called up a friend with a girl on 3 way calling. She remained on mute while I nonchalantly asked him questions about her. When he hung up he didn't hang up and listened to our conversation. I got caught bad!
I told my boyfriend (who later became my husband) that I had had previous boyfriends, when actually he was the first. I'd kissed other boys, but never actually dated them...
I told my boyfriend I had broken my leg skiing, in childhood, when actually I'd broken it doing something much less athletic and cool...running a 3-legged race.
I've never actually been skiing...
I ran off and got married. My family has no idea and would be devastated.
I LOVE Post Secret! It's like crack (not that I know, of course...I just mean that as an expression). Wow, people clearly lead a more interesting life than I do. I have nothing so juicy to tell.
I guess my biggest fib was hooking up with my co-worker, to the point of traveling together for business and booking two hotel rooms but staying in one for T & E purposes. The thing is, I was still married (only technically til the paperwork was done). But now it's 10 years later and said co-worker and I are married and have 2 kids.
I have nothing that juicy, only stupid and childish. When I was a kid my best friends always had the funniest and best stories. I always wanted to tell a funny story like them, so I told them I was walking home from the dentist one day and was tired so I closed my eyes, only to walk straight into a lamp post! I told them there were a bunch of cars driving past that stopped to point and laugh. They laughed so hard they almost peed their pants and they always wanted me to tell that story. I told it so many times, I almost started to believe that it actually happened. Come to think of it, 20 years later I still think they think that story is true!
Sorry for my lame fib.
Oh fun! Hmm.....I used to tell a lot of stupid lies when I was younger. Such as...I was adopted from France, I had younger triplet siblings complete with photos of other children, stupid things like that.
My bigger lies are from when I told people my relationship wasn't abusive when it was and also that I was happy when I wasn't.
Love PostSecret. Check it out every Sunday.
I've lied and said I was ok, when really I was far from it.
When I was a kid, I told one of my friends that I had a hamster that committed suicide by jumping off the kitchen table. She still thinks this is true and occasionally brings it up. I never even had a hamster.
1. You have the best blog ever in the universe.
2. No.
Ohh Anonymous July 1, 7:47---thank you for being my first troll. I suppose I was due.
I slept with my old roomie's sister's boyfriend and never told either one of them. Even when he got caught messing around with another girl, I acted shocked and horrified. Even though he'd done the same thing with me.
I was sleeping with my boss' husband and when she suspected that he was cheating (but didn't know with who), she asked me if I thought he was cheating. I said "no way, why would he do that?"
testing, testing....am I still signed in?
6 months after I got married, I had a teeny little online affair with a guy at my parent company in another city. We met up a couple of times, but never COMPLETELY sealed the deal.
I helped myself to some booze from my mother's liquor cabinet, and blamed it on the skank that was totally mooching off her. She kicked the skank out. And I'm still not sorry.
I haven't told a major lie since I no longer talk to my mother, she is crazy. I mean clinically crazy, not just the nutty, stupid kind. But, I do tell white lies to cover up things I do around the office in order to protect myself from ridicule, harassment and from being yelled at. I use these lies as a way of self-preservation.
When I told a client that everything will be all right.
It's interesting that Thomas and Anonymous sort of rhyme ;-)
Dear Over-Thinker,
If you do not post again soon I will send you a large bouquet of mums. And a heart-shaped whisk. And maybe a solid-coloured tie.
Love Hillary
Hills: Oh Jesus! Not the heart-shaped whisk!!!
Dear Over-Thinker,
Time to post again, I'm running out of fun things to do when procrastinating. Please and thank you!
Love, Duckypants
Meg: I'm totally on it. Totally.
I had a very serious tryst with my best friend. My married best friend. My married best friend with three kids. It got to the point where he wanted to leave his wife. That was fun.
And NO I did not get caught. Though I will be seeing his wife in a few weeks so we'll see how it goes down.
I have access to the email of the persn I dated for a year - I don't think he was aware that I could get in. I find myself reading the ugly things he says about me, just so I can know. And no, I've not been caught yet!
Oh boy, where does one start. I guess we could consider a lie that happened to me.
After a night of drinking and sluting around town, my best friend with-held information about a girl I slept with. She apparently had Chlamydia and he made sure we had sex to teach me a lesson.
The bastard of it is I feel asleep before we had sex, moreover since my mind was on another girl i never even became aroused. I used this event to destroy his hold on me.
We still do not talk--even though I miss him
Another on infidelity:
There ain't a whole lot happening between the sheets at home. Maybe the Missus is getting it elsewhere... I'm not sure and dont really care.
I'm 41 and have been banging away with a 27 year old for the last year.
The only reason aI am still married to her is because we have a child still in elementary school.
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