Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sucking in Public

Can I just say..."BRING IT ON DISGUSTING GOOGLE SEARCHES"...Man, those people are going to be so disappointed.

I met two co-workers for drinks last Friday at a restaurant near work. This restaurant shares a parking lot with a video rental store. And like curbs in front of Subway restaurants and cement stairs in front of Public Libraries, skateboarders just seem to gravitate toward video rental joints.

Hellooooo, McFly!

On the way into the restaurant, I walked past 3 young guys attempting to out-jump (out-show-off) the other on the curb in front of the rental return-box. Each of them totally biff'd what I'm guessing was an attempt at a Triple Lindy on wheels. And holy crap, they biff'd in huge ways: Falling on their asses, faces, elbows, etc. and each time they just bounced right up, hitching up their GIGUNDO pants in one swift movement. They were not fazed by the number of people they were failing in front of in the parking lot. And they really sucked. In fact, there's a good chance that yours truly could have done better (and I run into the grass to "brake" when roller-blading).

It just sort of blew my mind. Here I am, utterly embarrassed to do most things in public, even the things that I'm good at, and here are 3 morons, each sucking the big one, in front of everyone. I guess if it were me, I would go practice my baggy-jean-barely-covered-butt off, honing my skateboarding skills on some deserted tennis court before I would take my mad skillz public at the local Hollywood Video. Or maybe it's just me.

I don't think I've ever seen people do something so poorly in public. And it's not limited to these three guys. I don't think I've once, in person, seen a good skateboarder. They all really stink. And don't they have curbs in front of their houses? Why not practice there 1st? I mean, curbs in neighborhoods aren't hard to come by are they? What happened to hanging out at the playground or the park? **Shakes fists at pesky kids**

Is it just me? Have you seen the anomaly that is a good public skateboarder? And I'm not even going to broach the subject of shitty snow-boarders. I have enough material on that for a separate post.

6 comments:

Meg said...

Ahhhh....I'm one of the girls that used to watch all those shitty skateboarders! Mostly because they were my friends/brothers/etc, but also because I used to really REALLY like skater boys. I'm an ex-punk rocker (still am at heart, but more of the old lady variety) and I spent many MANY an afternoon at the Vancouver Art Gallery watching people skate...But I only ever tried when I was "intoxicated", mostly because it hurt too much when I was sober....
Sidebar: do you practice the craft of culinary arts currently???

Hillary said...

I think the point of skateboarding is to suck. If you don't suck, you don't get all the injuries and various scabs and bruises that go along with it. No scabs = no street cred. I swear.

Nicole said...

Shitty snowboarders crack me up. I love watching them fall as they get off the lift or realize how bad they are half way down the slope and be forced to remove their board and walk down. I only had to make an ass of myself about 5 times before determining that it was not for me. That's why I ski. That and the fact that my ginormous ski villa would seem awful silly if I didn't. Gosh, my diamond encrusted shoes are feeling tight today...

My one attempt at skateboarding left me with a bloody nose in my friend's basement. I was very glad to not have experienced that in public.

minijonb said...

The reason why they suck so much probably has something to do with what they smoke or drop or inject. If they skated sober, maybe the level of suckitude would go down.

Old Knudsen said...

I remember when those skating boards came out, death traps I say, one day I stood on one and pushed off and fell and broke my nose, never went near one since, must be an American thing.

Marissa said...

that is HILARIOUS! i always think about that when i see these skateboarders. i mean, sometimes they have skills, but most of the time they are completely falling on their asses!