Over-Thinker, will you marry me? (and my boyfriend)?

The Over-Thinker, a former Sunday School Teacher (for real!) poses with her cool spectacles and huge nose and somewhat dusty bible that is now cleaned off and sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Hi Mom!


This post title, minus the moniker of Over-Thinker, is the text message I received from my friend, Nicole. And although I know she is totally in love with me and worships the quicksand that I walk upon, she wasn't actually wanting to enter into married life with yours truly. What she was asking was for me to literally "marry" her and her boyfriend, who I shall refer to as The Bod (nickname given to him by one of Nicole's sisters).

Nic and I have known each other for about 7 years (7 years--cripes, time flies when you're busy aging). We met at college in a class that's known to make grown men and women weep at the stress it brings to their lives. We were practically the only 2 laid-back individuals that didn't look like coronaries waiting to happen, so we partnered up for the course's trip out east, catering the Senior PGA Golf Open. Trust me, that sounds a lot cooler than it was. Actually, I was in a pretty kick-ass kitchen and Nicole got the s.h.a.f.t. The catering/cooking took up nearly 12 hours/day and really weeded out the fake-cooks from the real ones. Thankfully, Nicole and I are "real ones" and we made it through okay. Yes, one of us did get extreme heat stroke and the other lost 15 pounds due to stress and lack of sleep, but oh what a grand time. Basically, if you still want to work in the food industry after taking this class, you'll be ready for anything. Practically.

As usual, I digress...

We have been discussing "The Over-Thinker Gets Ordained" option for some time because she has known for awhile that she wanted to marry The Bod but was also well-aware that she and The Bod weren't ready for any ceremony including a bunch of religiousness. She didn't want to go the route of getting married at City Hall because she said that didn't feel "right" either. So I am honored that she and The Bod would like me to perform the ceremony. Being a good little Lutheran, I have a bible....being a good little Lutheran, I consulted the bible for guidance on all things "So You Want to Be Ordained-Stuff"* and go figure! I came up empty!


So, where to turn when the Bible doesn't have the answers? Well the Internet, of course!! And sweet, fancy Moses if there isn't a craptastic overture of sites offering ordainment. Honestly, these are some of the creepiest sites I've seen. Complete with lovely, background organ music and flashing crosses scattered across the page headers. If these sites were actual churches, I'm picturing Astroturf-lined pulpits, velvet vestry garments and a smarmy-looking man rockin' out to "How Great Thou Art" on a key-tar. Alas, through a lovely Yahoo! safe-search, I found a few legitimate sites.

The main reason for posting on this topic is to get feedback/help from you. Please let me know if you have any experience with someone (or you!) getting ordained. Any helpful hints, warnings, etc. are appreciated. I think I have a good start with figuring it out, but I thought I'd get your thoughts...



*Mom, don't pass out, I didn't really think I could find that info in the bible...heh heh, what do I look like? Some joker? Surely not. I was just brushing up on my Leviticus...