Saturday, March 29, 2008

In Search of the Holy Grail....aka: A Good Bra


As usual, I need help...(please don't click on this one and enlarge it unless you want to see my face hair--that will be another post)

Since I can remember, I have always had issues with undergarments. Although I may have touched on the fact that as a youngster I used to tuck everything in my underwear for purposes of personal security, I don't think I've ever touched on the topic of bras.

Since I've "owned" a chest, I've made my fair share of questionable undergarment purchases. I think this started in 7th grade when I employed an undershirt as pancake-coverer of choice until high school. In high school, there weren't a lot of hot choices for girls to make when selecting a cute bra. Most likely, this wasn't due to the selection on the racks but moreover because I was shopping with my mom who demanded, "What does it matter if it's tan? Who's going to see it?" As a 14-year-old, how the hell was I supposed to answer that?? So beige it was!!

Fast forward a few years when I was a freshman in college...who moved onto the block? But Victoria herself, lugging along all those fancy secrets! Well, hello Vicky! You have a store credit card? Don't mind if I do!! I ended up with a bra and underwear collection that would rival Heidi Klum's personal stash. But, Over-Thinker! Who's going to see it??...hush.

My body is no longer in fabulous college-coed form and nearly all of my fancy pants have been replaced with ones that are pretty but sensible...oh, who am I kidding...they're pretty sensible. And since my chest has decided to have a growth spurt, I am officially out of the realm of making bra purchases at V.S. So....where to?

I am small "around" with uh, lets just say, very large "fronts"-- This makes bra shopping the opposite of fun. I am forever seeking a bra that comes in a color other than white, off-white, beige, kinda-beige and ecru. Not to mention the fact that I'd like to see a narrow strap, people!! Why must large-cup bras have straps that look like they belong on a North Face backpack!?

I thought I had found a good one. A friend recommended I try looking at "Lane Bryant" because they carry bras in larger sizes. To my Canadian readers, in case they don't have Lane Bryant where you are, this is a clothing store that sells apparel in larger sizes. Well, I'll be! I found a bra that almost fit! (And "almost" was as close as I had come in a long time, so this was good.) Unfortunately, the smallest size "around" I could find was a 34, so I had to put it on the tightest hooks so it wouldn't ride up. No problem. At first. But by the end of the day, the bra was obviously still too big and the under-wires were cutting into my armpits! Cutting. In. Seriously. Not. Cool. In order to wear this bra, I have to put cotton pads between the under-wire and my skin so I don't get cut! Sweet fancy moses, why is this so hard?

So, for the love of God (and my armpits), please help! Do you have any recommendations? I've already been "professionally fitted" so I definitely know my size, but where can I find a pretty, good-fitting, bra??

If any of my male readers comment, I will be sure to take your recommendation seriously after I stop laughing at you. Pinky-swear.

18 comments:

lynne said...

Have you tried Title 9 or Athleta? I guess they're not that pretty, but relatively sporty...

The Over-Thinker said...

Lynne: I haven't--I'm off to look them up. Thanks for the reco (and for stopping by!)

Hillary said...

Yay Over-Thinker! (I'm cheering the fact that you're back as opposed to cheering the fact that you're having bra angst. Just to clarify.) (Does it make me stalky that I noticed that you haven't written in a while ... and by a while I mean more than a few days? No pressure.)
I have no input, by the way. I have never been professionally sized so I always just buy something that fits. I've got faily non-unique smallish boobs so I've never had any problems. *shaking fist at smallish boobs*

witchypoo said...

I mostly hide in the house and free boob it. Yes, it's that much of a problem.

The Over-Thinker said...

2 L's: Yay! I'm very happy that you stalk mah blog--the feeling is entirely mutual. I've been a major internet slacker in the last week...but I'm back and ready for some major postage. I WISH I had smallish boobs. I also have naturally curly hair that I straighten--daily. Grass is always greener, I s'pose. Dammit.

Witchy: I do the free-boobin' (I can't say that without thinking of Tom Petty) thing starting at 6:00 each night. It's like the best part of the day.

Old Knudsen said...

please help! Do you have any recommendations?

To be honest (as if I could be otherwise) I'd have to see them first. oldknudsen@gmail.com

Old Knudsen said...

Did ya get that?

oldknudsen@gmail.com


don't worry I'm old its strictly clinical

The Over-Thinker said...

Knudsen: Such a charmer--If I wasn't married (and concerned about being labeled as a porn distributor), you could consider it "done"...in the meantime, you'll just have to use your imagination.

Meg said...

I agree with Hillary-Yay, you're back!
Old Sir Internet and I were missin ya :D
In regards to the bra action...No idea.
Sorry! But good luck!

The Over-Thinker said...

Meg: Aw shucks, thanks for missin' me!

Nicole said...

Rev-
You're the only woman I know who can lose weight and not have major boob shrinkage. (*Sighs*and looks down at B's that were once D's...) You're right about the thick straps, though, I've heard that you're supposed to get most of the support from the cups and around the middle and not from the straps. Have you ever seen the show "The Big Idea"? Your big idea could be bras for the well-endowed woman that are actually cute. You'd make your millions and never have to lift another red spoon...

Marissa said...

I can never find a good bra either. But I have recently had some luck at Gap Body. They have different sizes and different types of bras that seem to fit a wide variety. Other than that...I'm as lost as you are!

The Over-Thinker said...

Nicole: I KNOW!! Trust me--there are actually days that I would gladly add an inch back to my butt if my boobs would just shrink down! I know this probably makes some people puke...

Marissa: I've not heard of Gap Body--I'm definitely going to have to take a look.

Everyone: I promise--if I find this Holy Grail, I won't keep it a secret. Like someone whose name rhymes with Bictoria....

Sra said...

Have you tried searching the internet?

I will never buy a VS bra again because I find that they are mega uncomfortable and ultra more expensive than they should be. I like their clothing line, though.

I always smirk when I go to a bridal shower replete with plenty of lingerie packages. Yeah, like those are going to get any use. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the point of sexy under things, because even if you do take the time to put them on, they don't stay on very long. I'm all about comfortable, utilitarian underwear.

The Over-Thinker said...

Sra: I'm thinking that the internet is going to be the way to go. I wish I could filter out the porn (at least the bad crap) when I do a bra search. Or, maybe I should refine my "Big Jugs Bra" search...

Thomas said...

As a lawyer I do want to inform you that men do have the constitutional right to leave a comment on any post they wish, The Over-Thinker.

Sarah said...

Hi there,
I just stumbled onto your site via someone else's blog and saw this post... and had to comment. As a 32-band size, I FEEL YOUR PAIN! It is SO uncomfortable to wear 34s when you should be in 32s. Especially when the ladies at Victoria's Secret try and convince you that you're wrong. Geez.

Anyway, I don't know your exact size so this might be off base, but Calvin Klein goes up to 32DD or D, I'm not sure which. Love those bras - changed my outlook on bra-land.

http://www.barenecessities.com/ is a lifesaver. You can input your size and it brings up all available styles.

Good luck in your search for the perfect bra (it's like a perfect man - does it REALLY exist?)

Katie said...

I am there with you! I am currently in search of a 30G that looks good under a t-shirt :-P

Have you tried Dillard's? That's where I was fitted. I liked the bras they had, but I was holding out for a nursing bra. I bought one online, and there's no way I can wear it with a snug t shirt (and of course, being a 30G, all t shirts are snug).