In Search of the Holy Grail....aka: A Good Bra

As usual, I need help...(please don't click on this one and enlarge it unless you want to see my face hair--that will be another post)

Since I can remember, I have always had issues with undergarments. Although I may have touched on the fact that as a youngster I used to tuck everything in my underwear for purposes of personal security, I don't think I've ever touched on the topic of bras.

Since I've "owned" a chest, I've made my fair share of questionable undergarment purchases. I think this started in 7th grade when I employed an undershirt as pancake-coverer of choice until high school. In high school, there weren't a lot of hot choices for girls to make when selecting a cute bra. Most likely, this wasn't due to the selection on the racks but moreover because I was shopping with my mom who demanded, "What does it matter if it's tan? Who's going to see it?" As a 14-year-old, how the hell was I supposed to answer that?? So beige it was!!

Fast forward a few years when I was a freshman in college...who moved onto the block? But Victoria herself, lugging along all those fancy secrets! Well, hello Vicky! You have a store credit card? Don't mind if I do!! I ended up with a bra and underwear collection that would rival Heidi Klum's personal stash. But, Over-Thinker! Who's going to see it??...hush.

My body is no longer in fabulous college-coed form and nearly all of my fancy pants have been replaced with ones that are pretty but sensible...oh, who am I kidding...they're pretty sensible. And since my chest has decided to have a growth spurt, I am officially out of the realm of making bra purchases at V.S. So....where to?

I am small "around" with uh, lets just say, very large "fronts"-- This makes bra shopping the opposite of fun. I am forever seeking a bra that comes in a color other than white, off-white, beige, kinda-beige and ecru. Not to mention the fact that I'd like to see a narrow strap, people!! Why must large-cup bras have straps that look like they belong on a North Face backpack!?

I thought I had found a good one. A friend recommended I try looking at "Lane Bryant" because they carry bras in larger sizes. To my Canadian readers, in case they don't have Lane Bryant where you are, this is a clothing store that sells apparel in larger sizes. Well, I'll be! I found a bra that almost fit! (And "almost" was as close as I had come in a long time, so this was good.) Unfortunately, the smallest size "around" I could find was a 34, so I had to put it on the tightest hooks so it wouldn't ride up. No problem. At first. But by the end of the day, the bra was obviously still too big and the under-wires were cutting into my armpits! Cutting. In. Seriously. Not. Cool. In order to wear this bra, I have to put cotton pads between the under-wire and my skin so I don't get cut! Sweet fancy moses, why is this so hard?

So, for the love of God (and my armpits), please help! Do you have any recommendations? I've already been "professionally fitted" so I definitely know my size, but where can I find a pretty, good-fitting, bra??

If any of my male readers comment, I will be sure to take your recommendation seriously after I stop laughing at you. Pinky-swear.