Now with more Air-Microphone

Did you know, regardless of your true, singing potential, it improves exponentially when you employ the use of an air-microphone? Also, finger-devil-horns help, too.

I have to stop biting my nails, the skin around my nails and gnawing at my knuckles. If I don't, I'm sure to lose my Lee Press-On Nails contract.

And furthermore...did you know that no matter how super-cool you think you sound, it deteriorates exponentially if someone else walks into the room? It's just science, my friends.

Not all of the songs I air-mic to are probably worthy of said air-mic. Sure, no one would fault me for whipping out a raging air-mic (holy cow that sounded pornographic--my apologies) to sing along with Robert Plant or Steven Tyler. But, did you know that air-mic is totally acceptable to use when signing along to the the soundtrack for Sister Act?* No? Oh hush, you're such a purist.

I was at the dentist yesterday. As I was waiting to be seen, I was listening to the music playing over the PA. Apparently my dental office likes to let loose on Friday afternoons. The assistant who was re-gluing my temporary crown back into my mouth (Because, hey! Did you know that you can't chew Red Vines with a temporary crown? Me neither!!) let me know that the music selection was from the "Doc's" i-pod. This caught me a bit off guard. My dentist is a quiet, be-spectacled man who is just the right amount of "up-tight" for a doctor. And in the fifteen minutes I was there--I heard the following off his i-pod: Beatles, The Go-Gos, Van Halen and Aerosmith. I can dig the Beatles, Van Halen and Aerosmith, but what's killing me is thinking about my little Dental Doctor air-mic'ing to "Vacation". Eat your heart out, Belinda Carlisle.

*I TOTALLY love the part where Sister Mary Robert sings, "He'll always be my true-ue love, from now until foreeeeeverrrrr," and at the end when she sings, "Nothing can Keep me awaaaaaayyyyyy! Away from his looooooooove!" And my heart broke just a bit when I found out that the actress, Wendy Makkena, wasn't actually singing. She was one good lip-sync-er.